"Don't be fooled into thinking your life is not
turning out just the way you want it to"It is hard for me to believe that we have lived here a year now this week.
The above photo was the first time I saw the Maryland sign as we pulled in on the 495. I couldn't stand how excited I was to become
apart of a new place and love it. I have driven by that sign now 50 times if not more and still think of this moment when we first drove into town. In fact when it catches
AK's eye she will say, "remember when we first got here and there was all that traffic" we went 5 miles in 45 minutes.
As I am preparing these next two days to do my "What to do in D.C." night at my church I have been looking through photos and just having a cry fest on what a great year it has been for our family. I estimated (thanks to
smugmug) that I have taken about 4301 photos this year of our sightseeing adventures - what a great year it has been.
So since the move has now come full circle it seems like the thing to do and tell the rest of our moving story.
We moved here because in 1995, my husband joined the Army to pay for his graduate school. A decision that would not affect us for 11 years. Last year was when he finished all his schooling and then we had to start paying back his rich Uncle, Sam. We started watching our other friends in town finish and get some great jobs, buy some big homes, pick where they wanted to live and in our mind, begin their life. Where as we were told we were moving even farther from family, could not afford to buy a home, working where you told to work - if we thought about it too much the
extremes started to get depressing. I will say moving is HARD no matter how you move, your choice or someone eles choice, but these factors seemed to compound our prior
decision. We were leaving the best town, best neighbors, friends, school, church. Those months prior to moving were difficult.
Jeff and I never really talked about it until one night when going for a walk I asked him, "did we do the right thing in have the Army pay for school?, This all seems so hard" I don't think either of us even wanted to let ourselves go down that road of thinking we made the wrong choice.
It was not two days later I was talking with the Bishop (like a Pastor) for my church congregation in his office. We were talking about something totally unrelated and in mid sentence he said to me, "I don't know why I am telling you this, but
don't be fooled into thinking that your life is not turning out just the way you want it to" I was a little surprised by his comment but then not surprised at all. It was exactly what I needed to hear. He gave me some great advice, one being, don't be in such a hurry to grow up and settle down. The many other words advice stuck to me like super glue that day and I gave myself no other choice but to have his
opinions become mine. If anything it was much more fun to feel that way.
I learned many lessons that day but one was to use the wise people around you. I would never have thought of talking to a church leader about these feelings, and now I think why not?
I look back now and laugh thinking I thought moving here was a trial - something I would have to endure. Can you believe my lack of perspective? This has been the greatest year of my life - seriously it has. I learned a huge lesson in not comparing yourself to others, even if their life appears to be just like yours. Jeff's work is like an adventure and with the war going on gives such a great purpose. The people he was met & experiences he has had while working here will affect him forever. Being in an academic center, something we would have not chosen, has been so rewarding. We now think what a blessing it has been to be given even more time to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up.
our tennessee moving boxes 2006I have so many thoughts on moving as I am seeing many friends getting ready to move this summer. It is hard. The fact if you were to move across the street it is hard, but to leave a town, a neighborhood, a church - it is so overwhelming.
So here are a few tips I have learned from moving.
My 20 thoughts on moving
keep in mind this says my thoughts, not have to's
- Before you move write every thing down that you loved about where you are moving from - you will forget once you leave and it is so fun to go back and read. goodbye Tennessee
- the first time you go to church assume it is every one's first Sunday too. (because it just might be) your new line is "My name is Kristi, I have not met you yet." Make yourself say that at least 8 times every Sunday. If you leave church that first Sunday and feel like you didn't meet anyone, it is no body's fault but your own.
- before you move let anyone you know you are coming. Call your local church, if your friends have friends that live there and say "oh let me call them and say you are coming" let them call their friends. you need help to move even if you think you don't. The best thing about our move, seriously the best thing, was staying with my college roommates brothers house our first few nights. They probably have no idea but they saved us emotionally. My friend Emily kept saying, "you need to stay with them when you get there" I kept refusing because I thought I don't know them, we can get a hotel, I don't know them. But driving into town where someone was expecting us was such a huge help. Those first few days were so lonely.
- look and see if they have a book about how to be new in your new town, they have books about everything these day.
- Where you are moving to is the most exciting place in the world, at least that is what you tell your kids! Moving is hard on kids too, so let them cry a few days with you and then help our kids fall in love with their new school, neighborhood and town.
- if you live in a big city get a GARMIN!!! having a GPS system has saved me many hours of crying and getting lost here. I also have no sense of direction so this may not apply to all.
- sit down and find a moving buddy! seriously pick someone who you can ask a list of questions to (this may be your new visiting teacher) - like their favorite grocery store, who cuts their hair, what gym is the best to join (i did not do this and i joined the one with the worst baby sitting service, all my friends go to the one where you could probably leave your kid for three days and they wouldn't care) is one library newer than the other, ask them if they can be your emergency contact on all the school forms your will be filling out, where are the best garage sales, (garage sales are the best way to get to know your new town, it is kind of like a scavenger hunt) thrift stores, etc. My moving buddy was my new visiting teacher and after a year she still gets all my, "where is the best place to...."
- Punch in every new number into your cell phone in one sitting, (this only applies to people who actually use their cell phone, this would not be me) new work number, school, your moving buddy, a few people from your ward (they don't have to know you, this is for emergencies)
- Make little gifts, loaf of bread, repackaged cookies from Costco, for all your neighbors with your name on them. This has made all the difference for my last two moves. You don't remember their name until you have heard it 5 times, well the same goes to you. So type up a cute card with your name so when they see you out front, at least they can call you by name and you won't feel so new anymore.
- get over the fact that your old town had the best bakery, sandwich shop, fabric store ever or whatever it is, because honestly no one wants to hear about it. Discovery what is great about your new town. one of the worst things you can do when you move is to say how much better everything is where you used to live. I found myself feeling that way when I moved here and then I thought is it better or is it just what I know. I can guarantee that everyone in your neighborhood lives there - so saying how much better it is somewhere else comes across as not liking where you are now.
- pick your crying buddy. find that one phone number of the person you can call and cry on the phone with, when the top 10 items above just don't work. make sure this friend is also someone that when you get done crying then says, "now put on your big girl panties and get over it"
- send out moving cards as fast as you can! I would even think about it before you move. Don't worry how cute they are, save that for Christmas and birth announcements, just get them out! You might get phone calls from friends you have not heard in awhile or you might have moved to the same town as your old friends sister.
- Relish in the fact that you can go places and NO ONE knows who you are. wear your pj's to the grocery store, no make up the whole day, (story of my life) It is lonely at first but there are perks to being able to go somewhere and not run into anyone you know. But then the first day you run into someone in town relish that too! This means your are not as new anymore and you are making roots!
- take advantage of the extra family time. Not knowing anyone made Jeff and I our only friends. We have spent more time together (one because his schedule is better) because I didn't have any other distractions to not do so, no baby showers, friends birthdays etc. Find the good in the new change.
- Sometimes signing up for everything when you move somewhere is not the best idea. We purposely did not sign up for any sports, lessons and such for the girls to have our schedule be our schedule. We took a year to fall in love with our town and now that we do we can spend the other three being normal people. Again the words of my bishop ring true - Don't be in such a hurry to grow up!
- Invite people to your new home. It does not have to be a party but have people over for dinner, ice cream something.
- Get a blog! seriously this was such a huge helped when I moved.
- After living in your new town write down everything that you love about where you are - you will forget once you leave
- Don't be fooled into thinking your life isn't turning out just the way you want it to!
Moving here was exactly what our family needed and we didn't even know.
my crying at a gift given to us by our TN neighbors
Man's feelings are always purest and most glowing in the hour of meeting and of farewell.
~Jean Paul Richter
our TN neighbors - best of times!!
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes. ~Henry David Thoreau
my girls still talk about grandma Shari
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard
. ~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie 
two of my young women in Tennessee I miss you girls! Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.
~Dale Evans
I made it out!
On kind of a funny note Annie Kate has been hanging her swimming ribbons on the back of her door. It is funny how they seem to be multiplying and she doesn't even really care. She hung them all up and then said, "Ok now I have a 1st, 2nd & 3rd, next week maybe I can get a 5th and 6th to complete the set". I was laughing so hard. I love it! She was so sad to have missed her swim meet and at 6:30 am while throwing up she thought she could still make the 7:20 am swim meet.
