It's official
I am claustrophobic

claustrophobia

noun

a morbid fear of being closed in a confined space

Yep this is me, the claustrophobic.
I have had some tests run recently for some weird symptoms (not really going to go into it, yes I am fine, don't worry) I am have been having for a few months. I have fibromyalgia and have not been feeling so great for the past 3 months. So for everyone that thinks I am crazy and do too much, it is really my way of dealing with not feeling great. I think I can either lay in bed and feel sorry for myself or create something! Little trick about me, when I am creating the most is usually when I am feeling the worst. (ie: I did my wedneday mailing the day of my MRI)

So, I go in on Wednesday to get the MRI. On the sheet you fill out before it asks, "Are you claustrophobic?" I mark no. I think to myself, no one likes to be in small spaces, but I don't like freak out when I am in them. HA!

I have to sit in the waiting room for a few minutes and fortunately I had my ipod. I have kept my feelings about cell phones on the down low because if I got started on cell phone manners I would be blogging all day! But there was just me and another person. Her phone rang and she stayed in the 5x5' small space yapping on the phone. If she would have been sitting next to someone in person she would never have talked that loud. I am not against cell phones, I just have such a problem with any kind of etiquette flying out the window when people use them. OK enough of that. But here are a few sites if you feel you have never considered there to be such a thing on manners and cell phones. here is one. here is another and yet another.

So I go get my hospital smock on, go in the room, find out I will be in the tube for 25 minutes and to put these five cent ear plugs in because it will be really noisy. Still, I was fine. Then I lay back and start to go in the tube and oh my! Good thing I shut my eyes and never opened them. I didn't want to see how close it was to my face. My heart started to race. I started singing out loud,
Whenever I hear the song of a bird, or walk by a blue blue sky, ... my favorite primary song. I didn't realize there was a sound system and he said, "Are you OK in there" of course I say yes when I wanted to scream, Get me out of here!!!! But Jeff has trained me to be much tougher than I am and the art of Get Over It!
So I sang, I am a Child of God, I Believe in Christ, I am trying to be like Jesus, over and over again. I then started counting to 60, thinking there went one minute. I was a wreck.

When he announced it was over and got me out, I started moving my arms like a monkey. I then started to hyperventilate. I told they guy I will never do that again unless I am totally sedated! He said, I thought you were fine in there? Why didn't you tell me?
I guess I really do have issues with asking for help.
Still even writing about it two days later makes my heart pitter patter.


I had to then go get some more blood taken. I loved the little ticket they gave me telling me my waiting time, "0 minutes" The Army is so efficient.

*** of note. I was hesitant of writing this post for two reasons.

1. I am fine and don't like people to worry about me.
   
2. i don't want to freak anyone out if they have to have an MRI, but if you have one think about checking the Claustrophobic box.