the street that leads to our building

Sunday

I can't believe 4 Sunday's have gone by and I have not taken the time to write about our experiences downtown going to church. I thought for sure last week with being home I would have the time to play Sunday Catch Up.

It has been 6 months now and I feel like I am finally getting to know people's names. The travel down to church seems for some reason to be getting harder on the kids and us. They seem to fall asleep 5 minutes before we pull up and then we spend the next three hours with cranky kids. We have not had a video player in our car for sometime and out of desperation I went to buy one just for Sunday's, hoping it would help the time we spend in the car. I had told this to our Bishop's wife in our other ward and she said to me. "It is interesting when you start to think your wants now become your needs" I take her advice whole heartedly and appreciate it, because it is true. But I still have the movie player.

A year ago our Bishop started a community tutoring program on Wednesday nights at our church building. With the help of young professionals in the area the building became a place where anyone could bring job applications, homework or such to get done. A few weeks ago we had a special sacrament meeting on Education. A few of the students who tutored spoke, a few tutors spoke and one of the directors of the program. The had a special musical number with all the students and tutors. I counted 48 people singing - ages ranging from the young to the old. It was absolutely beautiful. Years will go by before I forget that feeling I had that day. When Andy spoke he went through each student and tutor talking about what they had accomplished the past year. He spoke about one boy that on the day he met his tutor he found out that he had been the Valedictorian of his High School class. The boy asked, what is a Valedictorian? His tutor told them he was the top of his class and the student said, "then I want to be that too." This student finished the year with a 4.0 GPA. They told story after story of the lives that were changed from this program and it was the tutors as well as the students. There is an upcoming article in the Ensign (our church magazine) about this amazing year in our ward. I sat there thinking, "why am I so lucky to be here and listen and feel what I feel" It is days like that 6 hours Sunday seems to shrink.

A few weeks ago the mission president in the area came to speak with his wife. It was the last few weeks of their mission and such a blessing to hear them give our ward a farewell. I know they probably feel endearing to all the wards, but there was just something in their eyes when they spoke to ours. There have been many converts in our ward over the past 3 years and they seemed to know them all. The mission president told the most amazing story of a young missionary who found and taught the ambassador to another country and since that has opened their country to having missionary work there. The story is unbelievable. We have a tradition in our ward that when it is a members last Sunday the ward stands at the end of the meeting and sings, "God be with you 'till we Meet Again" There have been a few times they have done this for different people and I just think what will it be like when it is our last Sunday. Seeing the faces of this couple who has given three years of their lives for bettering a community, while feeling the spirit of the song, again makes me feel bad when I get frustrated about the time commitment and difficulty of attending this ward.one of the homes by our church building

On Father's day it was a wonderful Sunday. There are no a lot of Dads in our ward Most of the young men come to church all by themselves. Because of the smaller ward we seemed to be blessed with opportunities that may not happen in a bigger ward. Jeff and 3 other men got to sing in Sacrament meeting with all the primary during sacrament meeting. They sang "Teach Me to Walk in the Light" (if you have never heard the song, take a minute to do so) Annie Kate has sung more in 6 months in church than she probably has in 8 years. I loved seeing Jeff up there with two of his girls. Sally Jane yelling "Hi dad" added to my emotion, but not to the song.

The fun thing about this ward is it is where tourists visit. They have a tradition where after Sacrament meeting everyone visiting stands and introduces themselves. We had 37 visitors the other week. Awesome. Last Sunday I missed a good mail blogger who visited with her family. It made being sick that much harder. I can't wait to hear how she liked it.

Primary is so unique and I call myself the Primary Bouncer. My heart breaks the more I learn specific situations of each child and it helps me to be more patient with them, but I still struggle with how you discipline someone who is never disciplined without having them never want to return to church. The stories of my Sunday's in the basement (where Primary is) seem almost unreal when I tell them to friends.

many churches have large tables set up downtown on Sunday's
for people to come get clothes or other necessities.

Two Sunday's ago I left church and got in the car and seriously cried for the ride home. I said to Jeff "why does my life get to be so good and some others have it so hard?" It just does not seem fair. It is almost jealousy (if you have not read Jill's amazing post and answers, indulge yourself, there is no other blog like hers) in reverse, I don't feel like I deserve what I have and want it to be more even and spread out. I come home every Sunday and appreciate my bed, my food, my clothes, air conditioning, my tall skinny house, more after going to church downtown. It has just been such a blessing for me but still seems to be getting a little more difficult on our family to find the energy to do it. It seems to be really "Stretching" (my word of the year) me and my emotions in areas I didn't even know exsisted. I find myself wanting to do more than I am doing. Give more, expect less.
I will never forget our first Sunday when we asked the Bishop what we tell people why were we were going to church there. No one really knows that we live far away and have been asked to attend this ward. We said, we don't want anyone to think we think we are doing something they can't or step on anyone's toes." I will never forget the look on his face as he said, "no one cares why you are here, we just need the service we don't care how it comes or from where". It seems that in other social situations when someone comes into help there can be a boundary of "this is how WE do it" ... there is none of that here which is so refreshing. No one cares how something is conducted, announced, explained or taught. Everyone is so happy to have help, love and support it does not matter how it comes. I love it. I have learned great lessons in this. Because there are such big yet simple day to day needs that need to be met, no one cares if someone didn't get invited to something or how a handout was made.

So to sum up my long post about the feelings of the past few weeks. We feel so blessed to be doing what we are doing, but also tired. It is amazing how service can recharge you though when you think you can't give anymore. I have often said that if any other member in the Stake came to our ward one Sunday, there would be line out the door of people wanting to do what we have been so lucky to do, but I still wonder how you continue to give when you don't know if you have any more to give?