being honest is not hardit is just inconvenient
In the past year I feel like I have had many times where I have gone to a store and get home or to my car and realize the store didn't charge me for an item. Some of the time it is is my fault it was in either in my daughters hand or didn't get taken out of the cart and others it is the store's fault. I get uneasy with myself when I feel myself justifying it by saying, "well they should have caught that" It really does not matter it needs to be paid for.
I then feel I am faced with the moral dilemma and getting my kids back out of the car into the cart to go back and pay for the item. When I am by myself it is automatic because it is just me and I don't think twice. But with the kids it is different.
So this is when I realize I like being honest and think it is the right thing to do, but when it is a inconvenience it is hard.
The other day while buying my plants at Lowes I realized that they did not ring me up for my liquid fertilizer (which I got sold on this summer). I was lucky they had a check out basically in the parking lot so I could go 5 steps from my car to pay without removing the kids. I started to think what would I have done if I had to go back in. It crossed my mind to leave the item in the cart in the parking lot, but that is almost the same thing as me just taking it - or is it?
A few months back I came home and realized the girl at the post office had not charged me for a book of stamps. I still have yet remembered to pay them back and have now lost the receipt. I have many times payed the store back the next time I go, but have some times forgotten. I think I still owe Wal-Mart $1.88 for a sippy cup the girls had put in the stroller last October when I went to buy pumpkins. Maybe I will send them a check today.
So, I got myself thinking I am honest because I really believe it is the right thing to do or is it only when it is convenient? I wonder what category I fall into. How about you?
22 comments:
I learned a valuable lesson years ago. It is true, so hard to get all the littles out of the car and back into the store. But on this one occasion, I did just that. I was really taken back that the cashier didn't want to ring me up - but to reward me for my honesty and let me keep it. I thought that she was just being lazy and didn't want to ring me up. I insisted. She rang it up. This began a great discussion for many years with my littles, who were standing right there knowing that this was the right thing to do. I didn't pay for it - it had to be made right.Even if it wasn't my error - it wasn't mine to keep.
(Liquid fertilizer is the BEST! My hanging baskets are seriously like 100 lbs!)
lisa, a thank you a million times over for taking the time to write this! i have NEVER thought about what my kids are thinking or what they could be learning by seeing me go back in the store, especially when it is so inconvenient. i really appreciate your comments!
This topic has received serious reflection this past week as it is the subject of my Young Women lesson this coming Sunday.It is amazing how far reaching Honesty is with others and with self. I may use some of your examples as I teach this week.
I too have gone back in with my kids and they have asked several questions. It does work as a great honesty tool/lesson.
On the flip side isn't it interesting if we are "missing" something from our cart or they over charged us how quick we are to make it known?
I will have to try some liquid fertilizer!
I know how hard it is with the tykes in tow, but I always go back if I notice before I leave the parking lot. I remember a few months ago when I had sat down to do my checkbook and had noticed that I wasn't charged for my bill from Subway from a few days before, for some reason my card was declined it said. Anyways, I called and spoke with the manager and he said well we have done all the paperwork for that day, so I guess you had Subway on us and thanks for calling. It does make you feel good when you are honest.
I've had to do the same thing several times. Sometimes I have people look at me like I am crazy for bringing something back to them or to pay for an item I didn't get charged for. It always surprises me that the reaction I get are of confusion and then I am told no one is ever that honest.
This is along the same lines...today at WalMart I found a dollar bill on the floor. When I turned it into the paint counter man he chuckled and said that no one was going to come back for it. He looked almost upset that I was forcing him to take it from me. I told him that if my 4 year old had lost a dollar I would certainly come looking for it. (then all I could think about was that Ensign article where the man looses his money in the mall parking lot and when it is returned to him later that evening all the money is accounted for. People were turning in every dollar they found). So anyway, the WalMart employee told me if someone ever came to claim it he would tell them there was still one honest person out there. It is great to be honest!
I am with Lisa - if I'm wavering on the inconvenience of it, I try really hard to use it as a lesson time for my boys. That, added to the fact that it's the right thing to do, gets me back into the store. I usually find it's easier to buckle those carseats the second time around, because my heart is lighter and I know it's in the right spot.
I'm pretty hyper about this sort of thing, but have had inconvenient realizations after I've gotten home so I didn't go back to set the matter straight. I had forgotten about that until now, oh dear.
My conscience doesn't allow me to drive off with the product. I have had to take the kids out of the car many times to return an item that slipped through the cracks. I always let the kids know what I am doing. It's all about the lesson being taught to the little ones right then and there. All I can hope for is to raise some honest adults. That's just how I do it. I totally understand and know how incovenient it is to do that but I know the pay off for showing that example is much greater.
The people at the cashier are always amazed that I am bringing the product back. That tells you how dishonest our society can be these days.
What a great subject to talk about! I still remember going to Target with all four of my kiddos two were my newborn twin babies. I had loaded them all up and then loaded the stuff in my car. I noticed a little notebook in my cart that I didn't pay for and I ended up leaving it in the cart! Still to this day I feel guilty!
I sort of don't have this dilemma because I never check my receipts! *blush*
But I am v.careful to watch my items go through the till as much as I can (with children in tow!) and I will always hold up things to double-check that the cashier is aware of them. Even empty packets of nibbles that I've had to give to Isla to keep her quiet in the shopping trolley in the shop. I always keep hold of the empty packet and make sure it's scanned.
I'm a great believer in all actions having consequences and being part of a chain of events. If smthg like you're describing happened to me, I'd be worrying that the cashier would get into trouble for knackering up the till totals or smthg. I don't know how till rolls work!! I just wouldn't want someone to get into trouble if stock and takings didn't match up at the end of the day.
I agree with Lisa, too. We have to, at the very least, set an example for our children.
I know just what you mean. It is so hard to drag the kids back out - I have to lug that darned double stroller in and out and it is a pain. I am glad to hear the reminder above that it is an important lesson for our children. When I was teaching high school, I would get into a discussion with my students about all you can eat buffets. I mainly did it as a discussion about ethics. It fit into the curriculum because it was a food occupations course. Anyway, I was always amazed at how many of the students thought it was perfectly fine to fill their pockets with m&ms (for later) from the dessert bar. Their justification was that they had paid for "all you can eat". I tried, time and again, explaining to them that "all you can eat" applied to during that visit to the restaurant and not taking home more for later. We discussed it in terms of the affects that had on the restaurant's profits and so on. That discussion almost always led to a discussion about what to do if a cashier gave you back more change that you were owed. Most would take it and say, "too bad for the cashier", some would take it back. It is always interesting to discuss things like that and think about it in terms of real world situations.
I have, in the past, had too much shopping for one day and realized I got home with something I didn't pay for, and instead of taking it back inside or back to the store, just put extra money in the collection plate, or given extra to charity. But, I feel badly that I missed that learning/teaching moment with my kids.
This thread has given me something to think about...
Thanks,
missy
I think this is an interesting conversation to have with yourself and others about honesty. I really think it is a good way to teach your children to be honest....because you are always honest. I think that means doing something even if it is inconvenient.
I can't tell you how many times I haven't been charged for something and then went back and the store wouldn't do anything about it. But, on the other hand, I have had times when they were so grateful that I was honest about it too. Not everyone is honest in this world.
Kristi, this was on my mind a lot at the end of last year. I realized that it was not always easy for me to the right thing in these types of situations, for reasons like the ones you mentioned, the inconvenience of it, etc. I don't mean that I was really struggling with honesty, just that I wasn't always strictly honest, and it wasn't as easy for me as it should be.
On Christmas Eve, I gave everyone a small red gift box and we talked about gifts. I explained that we were each going to choose a gift to give to the Savior. Mine was being completely honest. I can't tell you how many times this year when a situation has arisen and that little red box popped into my mind. No more problems with honesty!
I'm always amazed at how confused the employees get when you try and explain what the situation is and how many times they comment that no one ever comes back to get charged for an item.
I know I've made errors and I'm sure there are stores I currently owe money to when I wasn't charged for an item (I forget to look at my receipt too), but for the most part I try to take care of it the next time I'm there or by calling on the phone. It is super inconvenient and sometimes more of a hassle, but I know I feel so much better when I've taken the time to make the situation right. Although usually it requires me to drive back to the store because I'm such a scatter brain.
It hurts my heart when the employee is just SHOCKED after I explain the story and cannot believe how honest I'm being. I guess I view it is not being dishonest- it is sad this kind of behavior is viewed as "odd".
All right, I am going to put in my .2 cents on this. I hope I dont sound too preachy, 'cause that's not at all my intention.
My father drilled into me that "either you're honest or not". Ha. Talk about having guilt for NOT turning in the dollar bill. I will say now, at some 40 years later.... I get it! I totally get it! I don't have to hesitate, but I am a slow learner. I also will add that I have been on both sides of the coin. Not too long ago I had a wallet lost in a parking lot, with a great sum of cash and cards galore. If only the "finder" of that wallet had been taught to turn it in on any account, and been taught about honesty, I would have been spared a ton of grief. So, be it guilt ridden or other, I guess I still will turn it in.... Besides, my father's words would come and haunt me big time! Either you're honest or you're not! UGH!
I was born with a massive guilt radar, so I ALWAYS have to go back. If the inconvenience is ever tempting me to forget it, all I think is....."are you honest in all you dealings with your fellow men" "yes bishop!"
I, too, would go back and be honest. I guess I better be checking my receipts all the time and make sure they charged me for every thing that I purchased. It is important to teach your kids honesty.
I always ask myself "Would I sell my integrity for $3 or whatever the item is worth." Of course the answer is NO, and then I do the inconvienient thing.
I've had problems with this since I acquired children, I think it must be the pram...since they or I put things in there... and when it is time to leave or get home I find things...and go...what? I must confess I usually do take them immediately,although one time it took me a year...it was a baby's name book for 3 at barnes and noble...I just never made the time to take it, until one day...i just took it and left it....wow
I have three small children and I hate more than anything going places and having to load and unload them. However, I have learned that by taking the 10 extra minutes to take the item back not only is the right thing for my salvation but also it has been an example that I hope my kids will always follow!
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