Sunday, September 27, 2009

bullfighting ring - Ronda Spain 2008

in my arena.

My game is free to watch, for all who want to come.
It seems I should have thought to charge
Or at least note where their watching from.

The mystery of my game
is what excites me the most
every day is new for me,
with hopes to end in post

My stadium is often full,
but not with only fans.
My guess is half of those who watch,
do so to see me miss.

They won't be disappointed,
errors are always on my list.

Those who come just once
seem to think I am great,
but those with season tickets
wait around for my mistakes.

Some crowds can't wait to point -
"You just have missed the ball",
"you tripped, hey too slow, "
rest assured ....I always feel my fall.

With each foul I give myself the bench.
I sulk, I groan and practice my very best "I Quit!"

My self doubts are an unwelcome guest
yet I still invite them every time
Time spent sulking on my bench
magnifies a penny to a dime.

Just when the opposing crowds
seem to get just what they want.
A slip, fall or proof I'm real.
A wave from the other side makes the opposing crowd sit still.

I hear a small "go get them!"
the other side begins the wave
Foam fingers, flags and shouting - "Be Brave!".

"Hey don't stop, get off that bench.
you're doing just fine.
I never took the time to cheer
I thought you got cheering all the time"

And just when I think I am
taking my ball and heading for my home
the bench seems too hard to sit here sulking all alone.

I start to miss the action on the field
and others that I meet.
My gifts are not to win each time
but that I get up out of my seat.

My skills are different, "special" some even say
I notice the little things in a very big way.

I seem to do my best
when I smile and my step has a skip
all while get some spectators to do a seat change flip.

"Come to the other side." I say
"It is so much more fun to stand and cheer
or even do something crazy and
stand in the center, right here!"

You too can feel that joy (and pain)
of trying to do more.
Go ahead get out in the middle and start to wiggle.
We might be more sensitive with each other if we did.

But if you like the side of the stadium in which you sit
if starting something only gives you something to quit

to you I say ::

You will never know just how if feels to try, to win, more often lose
until you walk in my size 10 pink ribbon tied shoes.


Kelly(M&M) said...

This just makes me love you more! There is so much kinship I feel with you, and so many things about you inspire me to be a little better. I can't imagine anyone judging you. I love how real you are.

LJ and DC said...

Everyone whose honest screws up a lot of times. You're right, its much more fun in the middle. May as well try and be who we are. That's what we're here for after all. Love you!

Elizabeth said...

I am glad you keep walking out into the middle. Soak up your cheering section and take the other comments with a grain of salt. It is inspiring that you never let it stop you from doing all the good you do. You are awesome1

Lauralee said...

Amazing Kristi! You are incredible... really- you are!

michelle said...

I love it! I for one am definitely glad that you take risks, Kristi, and that you live life so fully!

Anonymous said...

I'm a season ticket holder - a true fan - win or lose! Why? - because so much of what you experience and write about reminds me of me or people that I love. XOXO

Sharon C. said...

A new talent that I did not know you have -- we all have our off days when things we do just do not turn out as we planned, but then if we did not get out there and try, just think what ourselves and others would miss. You just continue to be you and let us all enjoy who you are. You continue to be amazing.

Chanel said...

I have known you for years. I have studied your parenting, creativeness and kindness in person and through your blog for years. I can not EVER remember a time that you failed, never. You get discouraged from time to time and slow down, but you are not capable of failing. Focus on the roar of those that love you and you won't be able to hear any opponents ...if there are any.

Jill said...

I really hope your crowd isn't being too critical, but after talking to you on the phone last week I know they are! I am sorry about your crazy, disgruntled fans and hope you are able to deflect their rudeness and move on. You are a strong force for good in the world and there are too many people who feel threatened by that!

Shauna said...

Love Jill's words.

An amazing force for good, such as you, will always have more fans than critics, yet the critics voices seem louder and harder to ignore.
Look forward and move past the "boos" on the sidelines. Remember...they are not in the ring fighting the fight and probably would not have the courage or strength to put up a valiant effort
As you wrote..remember..they are not in your shoes...they do not know your heart!

denise said...

love you!

Tasha said...

Hey You!
Hoo Ray!

crystal said...

I can't imagine you having disgruntled fans or friends or anyone, but you have SO many women who love you! Many, many of whom have never met you!

You're a force for good in your pink ribbon tied shoes! I have loved your blog since the first word I read; i love your zeal for life, your honesty, your joy, your giving nature, that you keep it real.

Sister, this poem rocks. Love you.

Alisa said...

Oh the disgruntled fans- I agree with Jill and many others.
Keep on -keeping on!

katherine said...

Ha! Great poem. I like "real" people the best, hey who am I to judge besides, I'm too busy with my own imperfections. I'm glad you get up and play again and again. Good Luck with everything!

Anonymous said...

I am a silent season ticket holder...thank you for the fun ideas for my kids in the classrooms. As far as knowing your heart...I don't profess to know that just from reading your blog, but I hope you can overcome the feelings you have from those who have hurt you (my experience is that they have probably already moved on).

Amanda L. said...

Kristi the poem is beautiful. I have always admired that you keep getting back in the ring and refuse to sit on the sidelines.

It's easy to judge someone from what we "see" on blogs, and surely your critics don't know the real you or the real story (whatever it is).

Just know that there are people cheering FOR you!

Holly said...

I appreciate your attitude so much AND your willingness to share so much of yourself (through your creativity, ideas and experiences). You encourage me to look at things differently and to try my best. Thank YOU and your size 10 pink ribbon tied shoes. :)

Laurie said...

I can relate to the feeling of being judged or critiqued a bit too much. I feel that way in my own life, and I let it get to me. What I'd like to do though is get out in the middle more like you and show my true colors and be more enthusiastic about life like you. I appreciate all that you have shared with us over the years! You've made me a better person!

elshmobelsh said...

I'll be honest Kristi. I hate this. I feel like my hands are so tied. I hate that I can't see you and look at your face to see how you are really doing. I hate that I have no clue. But now in the ranks of your many long distant friends- I say I love you! You're poem was beautiful. Don't forget you are just as wonderful and beautiful as all the people you work so hard to build up! You are just SOOOO good at building people up that sometimes people forget you need building too. But you will do the right thing. You always do.

Juli said...
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