Thursday, October 22, 2009

Things that make you go hmmmm.

For you youngins this is Arsenio Hall and he used to have a late night talk show. On his show he had a skit called "Things that make you go hmmmmm" (things that make you think) Here is mine for the day.

I really appreciate everyone taking the time to write their thoughts on "Wild Things". I am not just saying that because the majority seemed to agree with me either.
Meg's comment really got my mind a thinkin' yesterday. Her comment was...
If it was so bad, why didn't you leave? And then get your money back?

I kept asking myself this question over and over and realized my excuses were lame.
  1. it took us 20 minutes to get all the kids settled in finding a seat, not crying and getting them back up would be a hassle
  2. it was pouring rain outside and are other option was to go back into our ever shrinking town home and do nothing
  3. i had no idea you could ask for money back from a movie(can you really do that?) so I was thinking we just spent $40 to get in here and I don't want to waste it.
  4. I kept hoping that the movie was going to turn for the better. Something good would come out of it. The monsters would change, Max would jump out of the boat and give Carl a hug and say goodbye, his sister would invite Max to join her friends, the little boy would give his mom a hug and say I am sorry I should never have stood on the counter and screamed at you like that.(have no idea why this is underlined can't seem to fix it)
So, then I starting having those hmmmm moments. What horrible reasons to make my kids sit through something that I would never want them to watch again. I asked myself questions like - is it acceptable to sit through a movie you don't like because in the end they will kiss and make up? How do I teach my kids to stand up and leave situations that they feel uncomfortable in? ( I realize I had a huge teaching moment on Saturday and blew it) What do I do or sit through or tolerate because I don't want to be unconvinced of changing the moment?

I do think the older I get I am not as likely to put myself in situations where I can likely determine the outcome, so that I don't have to decide during an event if it is appropriate or not,

I heard a youth speaker saying give the example of - the time to decide if you are going to eat an entire chocolate cake is in the grocery store where you would buy it not in your kitchen once you have already brought it home. She said if you don't buy the cake to begin with you will never devour the entire thing in your kitchen.

But then comes the gray areas and I believe those are the traps for me and my family. (note the ME - I am not judging anyone else here) Even as an adult the "well everyone is doing it" can get me sometimes
  • A movie that everyone is seeing because it up for an academy award but is rated R
  • doing something just once even though it falls on a Sunday
  • going into debt for something or an event because I feel justified or saying something like "I deserve it"
I decided early in college that I was not going to see rated R movies no matter what. I have seen a couple, really only 3 I think, that have kept me from saying I have never seen one. (A Fish called Wanda, Rainman and Shawshank Redemption) I remember for years saying "oh I wish I could see that movie, maybe I should just see it" then as the years have gone on, anything with an R rating does not even get my attention. (I am hoping to use this theory some day with Sugar)

After finishing my first marathon I wanted to sign up for every race I could. A majority of races are on Sunday, especially the good ones. I made a decision that first week after I finished to not run on Sunday only because I knew myself and the little bit of self control I have. I figured it would be easier for me to make the decision once and not have to make it over and over again. (again hoping to do this some day with sugar, my thighs would be forever grateful for this kind of decision making)

Well, now I feel like I am just rambling. But really appreciate Meg in taking the time to make me think. I am determined to think more about ways to teach my children to make the black and white decisions as well as stay out of that gray area.
While this post only took a few minutes to read it took me over an hour to write because it motivated me to do some reading on my churches views about movies, ratings, goal setting, finding truth etc. It was like a mini research project. Thanks Meg.

So - if you have any brilliant ideas on how to make life changing decisions,
stay out of the gray
or teach our kids to stand up for what is right... oh feel free to share!


Anonymous said...

It's a process- living each day, making it better than the one before. It is wise advise to prepare for the 'what if' situations. Like the cake, prepare and prevent rather than repair and repent! =)

Great post- it made me think about the little things. Thanks for opening up and sharing. Miss you much!
Take care, Kim G =)

Nora from Chicago said...

Man, I want to learn how to frost a cake like the one in the picture! :)

I like the country western lyrics, "You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything."

I don't like the current thought that some people (and many politicians) have that "it is easier to apologize, than to ask permission". The former seems so selfish while the latter seems so disrespectful. Thoughts?

The monkey bunch said...

You seem like an amazing person! I totally agree with Kim G. That's what life is about- reevaluating, changing, trying to make each day better. The fact that you can take criticism and not get hurt, but reevaluate is great! I know I get caught in lots of gray areas myself!

Jill said...

Great post Kristi! I think posts like this are such a valuable thing to have as part of your personal history, and are great triggers for growth. I'm sure the next time you're in a questionable situation you'll be quicker to react based on this post and the experience leading up to it.

I have had moments with my kids (one was watching a video at home) where I should have stopped it and made a statement of it, but kept thinking it wasn't so bad, those moments pain me now.

Traci said...

your thoughts about why you didn't end up leaving the movie was exactly how i felt when we saw corraline with our children.
definately was a teaching moment for me and my kids too!
great post!

michelle said...

I love this post. It really shows the process, the constant re-evaluation. It's what we all need to do!

crystal said...

I am sheepish to admit that I do see rated R movies, but I had an experience years ago that DID teach me to walk out on any movie that is offensive. I stuck it out and watched "Seven" because I kept hoping for it to get better, for a moral ending, for optimism, and because I didn't want to waste my money.


And also, I have never watched evil scary movies again. If i do relent and see a rated R movie, it's always some fluffy chick flick, etc.

I love what you had to say in this post. And I love the chocolate cake analogy; SO VERY APPLICABLE in so many venues of life.