Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Jeff said that anything that was not unpacked or hung on a wall was going to get thrown in the trash on July 5th. Well we beat our deadline by about 4 days.

2 weeks to the day everything was unpacked, put away and hung on the wall. Not everything was the right color but it got hung.

I can't believe I have only been here 2 weeks and I already have before and after pictures.

Here is my mirror after it ran into a can of black lacquer spray paint. Much better.
I found this mirror for $10.00 at goodwill and it is totally broken. You can't really tell in the photo but there are chunks missing in the outer floral design. It was much more noticeable when it was gold but now they are all gone in black.
And I can still remember the garage sale I bought this table at. The girl gave it to me for $5.00.
That would mean this nook is at total of $15.00. My brother gave me the two boxwood trees years ago (can you believe they were display at Bath and Body - he worked there)

I think the mirror is a little high, but I agree with Jeff he is not going to have any mirrors in his home that are too low for him to look in.

We had a great 4th of July. Even though we missed all the quaint neighborhood celebrations because of church we got to spend time with our neighbors that night.
We all got to together we gobs of kids and our neighbor, who looks like a man but I think really may be Martha Stewart, treated us to muscles cooked on the grill with pine needles, BBQ ribs and Bison (yes Buffalo - my time in North Dakota has ruined me of ever eating the stuff)
We then had homemade Cherry Cobbler that he made from the fresh cherries off of his own tree.
It was a meal to be remembered.

City fireworks were done on Monday Night because of a freakish hail storm that night. This is me holding the hail taken 20 min after the storm. Minutes before the ground was covered in ice, but then it magically all went away. I hear Denver can have crazy weather but then the sun comes out and it is all better. This so far has been true.

The kids have just been spoiled having so many wonderful kids around.
Look at Sally Jane in the back trying to make sure she is in the photo. That girl can hold her own on a tramp full of boys!

I will say that Sunday again was very emotional for me. Not quite as obvious but for sure on the inside.
I think I am suffering from the Lumiere Syndrome. (I don't usually ever use Disney Musicals when talking about spiritual matters, in fact I forbid it - but it is the only way I can seem to describe my thoughts- so excuse me one time)

A line in Beauty and the Beast where Lumiere says,

"Life is so un-nerving for a servant who is not serving,
He is not whole without a soul to wait upon"

That is exactly how I feel. All the girls came back from girls camp and there was such a buzz in the ward but I felt like there was a glass wall around me and I could see everything but not hear it. I kind of felt invisible. But why would the Young Women at church come talk to me about their great week.
It was the Sunday where members of the congregation get to share their thoughts from the pulpit and I so bad wanted to go up but didn't want to feel like I was taking advantage of the opportunity to introduce ourselves.
Being the 4th I had a lot of thought about Jeff's service in the Army coming to an end. We have never looked at it really as a service because we were getting paid and they are the ones who made it possible for Jeff to go to medical school. Yet as I thought about it all day Sunday I realized there is going to be a different feeling not having him help the soldiers who come back from Iraq.My Young Women (with one over grown Young Man in the middle)

I don't ever feel tempted to commit large sins, steal, use drugs or anything grossly illegal. My temptation comes at moments like these past few weeks. To withdraw myself from getting involved with a new congregation, to open myself up, to not go to church and just stay home because no one will notice. I become picky in how things are done and how they are so different than what I am used to. I figure if the advesary can get me to not get involved and feel left out then there is very little good I can do for those around me. These months of transition have a lot of internal conflict for me and I will admit I feel almost a force pulling me down to not get involved. I am much better than I used to be at moving. I recognize these temptations now as temptations and have lots of plans of attack to push through the transistion until I find my spot. My spot to make a difference.

Wow - this became a long post when all I was going to talk about was my new black mirror!

So - feel free to tell it to me straight.
Am I crazy???


Hilary said...

I think you're amazing. you've got a fan in Idaho! I love the way you are so passionate about serving. It really gives me a wake up call and makes me want to do better - in attitude and action. I know you'll be amazingly involved and vital again soon.

Your house looks wonderful. You've got a gift!

Amy said...

I don't comment often, but I love reading your blog & am so glad you are writing again. I have read for years & think you really have some amazing talents. I also love how open you are about your highs & lows.

I hope you find a good niche soon! Getting involved in the neighborhood is a great start & good mission opportunity.

Kari Lynne said...

I love you family pic. It looks as though that is where you belong. I think you should just go to the Bishop and ask for a calling. If your Relief Society pres. is anything like mine I'm sure she is already thinking of a calling for you. I know the Lord is mindful of how you are feeling and He will make everything work out His way...hopefully soon. Sending much love and hugs to you!

Elisa said...

yes crazy, but its not your fault, its in your genes.
When I don't feel so crazy myself (third baby is kickin' my trash) I am going to come visit your beautiful home!

Love ya cousin!

Christine said...

I think I can understand some of your feelings about wanting to serve vs. feeling like you want to hold back.

I know that I'm best when I'm busy serving but I struggle with feelings of feeing burned out at times and feeling like I deserve a break. It's a natural feeling. I'm hitting my second year mark of being Relief Society president with a younger family and I'm pushing through my burn out mode. I've felt it before in callings and I'm sure I'll feel it again. The advesary would love us to tire and give up but I also realize that the closer I am to the Lord the easier it is to get past those feelings.

Allow yourself to have your break! Enjoy your family with the time off you have (I'm sure it will be temporary) and then embrace whatever opportunity comes your way to get involved when it comes.

I think the Lord allows us time to back off a little bit to rejuvinate ourselves, it's OK, and then it's time to jump back in.

When your ready sign up for the potlucks, let the Relief Society president know you would love to be a visiting teacher (she'll love it:) and let your ward get to know the great person you are! They'll be blessed by your unique gifts and talents and be so glad for it.

By the way great job on the house! I'm having house envy as I'm stuck cheek to jowl with my neighbors here in California with a postage stamp backyard ;) I love all the wide open spaces.

Lauralee said...

not crazy... at all.. I can relate to the feeling of just withdrawing... sometimes it is a temptation for me, when I don't feel needed... but I try to resist that and reach out where I can- even if I am not in a "leadership" position... I would say- call the RS pres and ask who needs a meal and start there!
You can do this- you have lots of cheerleaders all over this country! Go Kristi!
Good luck
The mirror looks awesome- your home looks beautiful...

Leigh said...

I'll admit, as a YW pres, I am kind of jealous of your "free time" right now and would encourage you to try to relax and enjoy it as that, since you know it won't be long until it it gone and you are serving again.

That said, I know what a hard time I've had before (and will likely have again) when I DO have that free time again...I go a bit "crazy" too. I remember the last time I was released from a big calling...within a few weeks I was ready to stop going altogether also. It's a hard transition.

Anyway, Jeff would not be able to handle my house...I was just out in the garage this morning looking for a tub that we hadn't unpacked yet...and we moved last September! :)

Jill said...

I love seeing your house pictures and love it that you're outfitting it with all of these great pieces you've found, bought and transformed.

I am sure a great calling will be coming your way any day now, so try to enjoy these obligation-free times while they last!

I love that quote from Lumiere and think it is so applicable to many of us. There are many ways to serve others even when it's not under the umbrella of an official church calling, so maybe that's something you need to think about. Maybe watching someone's kids, or taking dinner into someone. You could call the RS President to see who needs help right now...she may pass out from the unsolicited offer but I'm sure there is someone who can use your greatness!

Jill said...

P.S. I forgot to say how fabulous that family photo is! I love the color coordination think you all look great!

Becca said...

Totally understand your 'temptation.' I am right there with you. We recently moved to London from the US and are in the largest and most transient ward ever!! No one came to talk to us or introduce themselves to us for 2 weeks (until they read our names into the ward and people knew we were staying, not visitors). I rarely saw the same people twice - so IF I did meet them, I never saw them again. My husband just told me we had to be proactive and not make our involvement dependent on everyone else. He got to the point where he'd stand at the door of the chapel and greet people as they came in. Definitely out of my comfort zone, but I found as my attitude changed, so has my desire to find things to do to help and include myself.

Good luck! You will soon learn to love those you meet . . . and I'm sure will have the opportunity to serve them very soon!

Rachel said...

Loving all the pics of the house!!!
SUper impressed how quickly you moved in! :)
Love the pic of you guys as a fam!!
You are amazing, hang in there!! I am sure that it is hard to not be serving since that is what you do SO WELL. They will feel your spirit....just wait....

Rachel said...

Loving all the pics of the house!!!
SUper impressed how quickly you moved in! :)
Love the pic of you guys as a fam!!
You are amazing, hang in there!! I am sure that it is hard to not be serving since that is what you do SO WELL. They will feel your spirit....just wait....

Mary Elizabeth said...

You are totally not crazy in the least bit!!!!!! You have gone through A TON of changes in your life all at ONCE!!!
1. Jeff finishes his time in service
2. Jeff is now retired so to speak from the Army
3. You moved AGAIN!
4. You moved FAR AWAY from wehre you were living
5. New surrounds
6. New neighbors
7. New neighborhood
8. New Church!!!!

I would think you were crazy IF you didn't feel a world of emotions right now. It's ALL NEW!!!! Your whole life is different in almost every way!Just breathe each day and remember in time life will feel normal again. Hold onto the past and treasure it and keep the door open to all the NEW possiblities and adventures that lie ahead of you!!!

Your friends will always be your friends and you are such a wonderful person that your life still has many open spaces for lots of really cool new friends. We will also all be here for you - BLOG IT BABY!!!! It will make you feel better!!! :)

Amy said...

I'm thinking crazy is pretty much normal. All of the feelings you're writing about really strike a chord with me. You'll find your niche very soon, I'm sure.

I'm loving all the pictures of your gorgeous new home!

wende said...

i can't believe you moved in and have everything unpacked AND hanging?! you're wonder woman! we moved in one month ago, and i'm still trying to decide where to hang things? i have commitment issues i guess. and i have a hard time putting actual holes in the wall. so GOOD FOR YOU!

also, i just have to say, AMEN to all of your inner struggles right now. i keep thinking how easy it would be to just not go, it's a new ward, who would know? especially with an inactive husband, the temptation is so real. the first sunday was so esepcailly lonely. it's just so hard to put yourself out there. i'm finding it's harder the older i get. it's like i know the value of friends and associates and how hard it is to say good bye. like maybe it's easier to just not invest in the first place.

sorry to ramble, and i don't have any great answers, just know that you're not alone in feeling that way. i just know that i'm blessed for going, it's as simple as that. of course, i know you know this already.

love ya!

Marla said...

I have never commented before, but I just needed to say THANK YOU. I needed to read this tonight.

Price Cream Parlor said...

I suppose I needed a deadline or not so much stuff. Sigh!

Congrats to you for unpacking and decorating so quickly! THAT is a huge feat!

I am loving your home photos!!
...great family photo for the 4th

Claudissima said...

wow working with deadlines and finishing them, can only bring you great satisfaction! You are a genius and amazing. You serve us! don't forget us!

mjrdlr said...

I couldn't agree more with what that last comment said....."You Serve Us". How true that is. I have been reading your blog for a while now and I always feel pumped up after reading about how you look at things. You are an inspiration to me. Thank you for being so honest and real. Your feelings right now are so natural. You are a worker bee and its hard for you to sit back and not be in the middle of EVERYTHING. Slow down and enjoy the ride, sister. Your kids look so happy with this new transition to a new area. What a blessing that they have instant friends. I know that you are loving every minute of seeing your family excel and be happy. BTW....Your family picture is just beautiful. I think your need to enlarge this photo and frame it with a beautiful frame that you will find at Goodwill and then hang it in your new home. Now that you have written your true feelings down, the opportunities to serve in this ward are going to come at a fast rate. I know that you will be ready with your running shoes on. Thanks again, for serving us!! {{HUGS}}

Dana @ SweetThings said...

Sorry about that. That last comment was from me.

michelle said...

What a gorgeous family photo! Seriously.

You are not crazy at all, anyone would struggle with conflicting emotions with all you've been through recently. I think you're very wise to recognize the temptations you are faced with and to make a plan to combat them! Watch out, Denver...

p.s. LOVE your black mirror.