Monday, April 28, 2008

telephones, Cell Phones, and Second Hand Chat

Thank You Mrs. Spade for writing one of my favorite books I have checked out this year. I need to return it this week to the library and thought I would do my cell phone post that has been in my head for two years. I can't believe I am doing this the week before reuniting with friends and meeting so many of you in Utah this week - i think if I was smart I would wait till next week but here it goes.

Here is #31 off my 100 list.

#31 I have serious cell phone issues and don't like using them. My average minutes used per month is 50. I would lose a lot of friends if I told you how I really feel.

Cell phones drive me CRAZY! there I said it. Just the other day I was talking to a girlfriend face to face and her cell phone rang and she picked it up and started talking to the person on the phone right while I was talking to her. I thought "when did this become OK"
I rarely ever used my phone while driving - but that is because I have a hard time concentrating on the road at the same time. I am always bugged when someone is on the phone while I am in the car and thus why Kate's comment on Second Hand chat was so welcomed by me.
anytime I almost get hit by a car the person is on their cell phone.
Before anyone jumps down my back - for safety and convenience yes they are great but they still drive me crazy. I am amazed at how much kids use cell phones and I for one do not believe that is "just the new way kids communicate" Many of the kids that use cell phones a ton are because they see their parents on them all the time - (I said many not all)
So there you have it, my real feelings about cell phones.

I would LOVE to know what you think!
How many minutes do you use a month?
Do you just love to be on the phone?
Have you ever asked someone to get off a phone or quiet down while talking?

Here is Kate Spade's chapter on Cell Phones.
When you call - Most calls should be placed between 8 am and 10 pm on weekdays: 10 am - 10 pm on Saturdays and noon to 10 pm on Sundays

Call Waiting - Unless you are expecting a call, let the second call go into voice mail. If however, you decide to answer a call, it should be done only to inform caller #2 that you will return the call. If you are in the middle of a serious conversation don't pick up call waiting.

Returning calls - Personal Call should be returned the same day or within twenty four hours. (this is my biggest weakness. I am HORRIBLE about returning calls, I just checked my messages on Sunday night from last Wednesday! I am amazed most of my family and friends still talk to me)

Cell phone do's.....

  • for economy and convenience
  • when you are on the go and need to confirm or change appointments, reservations, film schedules
  • keep the conversation friendly
  • when you enter a restaurant, a shop or a museum, set your phone on vibrate; better still if it is not essential, turn it off
  • children and babysitters - being reachable is a worthy use of a cell phone
  • for an emergency - this goes without saying
and DONT'S.....

  • Don't use a cell phone as a panacea for boredom
  • don't use a cell phone to talk in public about personal or professional problems, financial woes or health worries
  • don't swear or conduct an argument on a cell phone in public. Nothing excuses bad behavior
  • don't assume it's okay to speak loudly because you think what you are saying is impressive to those around you. Keep your voice low at all times.
  • don't assume it's okay to speak at length while on a train or airplane.
Second Hand Chat

secondhand chat is right up there with secondhand smoke. By the time you've finished looking in a boutique chances are that if someone is on a cell phone, you'll wind up knowing her shoe size, what she's shopping for and her budget. You'll probably even know the name of her date. This is selfish and boring. Please, don't blow smoke in our face or talk in our ear.

"I have a like/dislike relationship with my cell phone. The ease and freedom it gives are great, but like a lot of people, I'm not used to being "connected" so frequently. When people use cell phones in public, such as on the street, while shopping, or in a doctor's office, I wish they would use more discretion and be considerate of others around them. " Kate Spade

I would LOVE to know what you think!
How many minutes do you use a month?
Do you just love to be on the phone?
Have you ever asked someone to get off a phone or quiet down while talking?


Kristi said...

we have one cellphone, that we share as a couple- we buy a $20 card every 2 months, and have so many minutes built up on there, it is crazy. they are convenient at times, but mostely annoying- one of my friends always gets a call from her kids everytime I go anywhere with her. it drives me batty. and my seminary kids- oh they can't do an hour without them. boys and girls. crazy. I don't really get the whole texting thing. all the time. what? yep, I am with you in all of it!

Jill said...

I have a cell phone, but only turn it on when I'm out and about. I very rarely talk on the phone while driving and get seriously annoyed with the multitude of people who do because they can't drive and talk at the same time! I hate, hate, hate listening to people talk on the phone while they're shopping. It is beyond obnoxious and way too much info. I miss pre-cell phone life. We had no idea how lucky we were back then!

LeAnne said...

We have cell phones but have so many rollover minutes it is terrible. I am not a big phone talker except for family and close friends. Also, I hate driving and talking on the cellphone. I also hate texting, I find it completely pointless.

How do I communicate then you may ask? The "old fashioned way"--face to face or on the phone while at home.

Great post! I love Kate Spade's books too, she has two more out that are completely enjoyable.

J&K Freeman said...

Hear hear! I got rid of my cell phone years ago. I don't like being connected with the world at all hours of the day. If someone needs to reach me, they can leave me a message at home. I am not a phone talker. I also think that call waiting has gotten out of hand. I feel like hanging up on the person that I am speaking with when they put me on hold.

Alisa said...

hmmm I guess I will be the first to say that I love my cell phone.
I hope I am respectful to others while using it in public.
It helps me keep in contact with my extended family. (especially my 92 year old grandmother)
My husband and I both use cell phones, and call my grandmother when we are in the car- He does it on his way home from work. She mostly needs to just "talk" so there is a lot of uh huhs going on.

I agree though that they can be a distraction in our life. Just like our home phone, I often don't answer and call back later when things are settled in our home.
(I tried to check this book out from our library- but they don't have it)

stacy{s} said...

i am so with you on this one!!! I use about 30 minutes on my cell an month. maybe more since I'm more inclined to use my new cell for long distance. I am not a big phone talker, as you personally know, so no surprise that I don't use the cell either. Nothing makes me mad than rude phone people. maybe we should start a Movement! Call it "Mobile Manners Matter" or something. :)

Rachael said...

I am with Alisa- I am a HUGE phone talker! We always seem to push the limit when it comes to minute usage! I have so much to do at home that I find that some of my calls to friends have to be in the car to and from carpooling!
Texting is a great, easy way to quickly tell someone something instead of calling and ending up in a 30 minute phone conversation! Just not texting while isn't safe!
I say...thank goodness for cell phones! said...

Very interesting post. My cell phone is my only phone, so I do love it. I do have a lot of pet peeves about cell phone use, though.

I mostly use the phone in the car - I spend 2 hours a day in the car commuting to/from work - or at home. If I'm outside of my own private space of the car or my home, I keep conversations brief, quiet and discreet.

In an average month I will use about 400 minutes, send about 900 texts and who knows how many emails on my phone.

Liz said...

Kristi, I am exactly like you on this issue. I probably don't even use 50 minutes a month(although now my sis only has a cellphone, no home line, so she always calls me on my cell). I am hardly ever on the phone, even at home. It annoys me when people talk on cell phones while driving too. I basically have my phone for emergencies and convenience.

Mrs. Organic said...

When my son was in the hospital for four days at a time, it was a huge lifesaver. It was long distance to call home from the land lines, but 'free' on my cell phone.

It helped me to stay connected with my other kids at home. Thank goodness for wi-fi.

carlo said...

my friends/family know how i feel about my phone-- i use it in an emergency or if i am not at home but i don't use it unless i have to. and when i am at home, it stays in my purse or by my bed most of the time so idon't even answer it.

i am not a big phone talker, incase this is not evident!

what i dont get is when (how?) people will

*talk on their phone in the hair salon? rude.

*go through the check out line on their phone

*try to place an order while on their phone

i am not talking about the quick call or the babysitter checking in.

deidra said...

I don't think I use my phone much, but I had to check out my bill just to see. I used 82 minutes last month. Since we don't have a home phone, I don't think that's too bad! Especially considering my marathon chat with my mom recently. I use my phone more as an answering machine than a communication device.

Amanda L. said...

My cell phone doesn't work in our house..and I always have it on when I'm not home (paranoid about the school nurse calling me with Posey's allergy). I do use it to call friends/family and I have no idea how many minutes I use. I will sit in the car with it parked to finish a conversation though before entering a store or public setting. I hate the thought of having a conversation in front of so many people and can't stand having to hear others'.

Anonymous said...

Believe it or not, I've been made fun of for not having my own cell phone. My husband has one that he keeps in the car just for emergencies since he commutes over an hour to work (as a 1st grade teacher). It's not that I'm against them, but it's an expense that we just can't afford right now. I've been embarrassed about that though I shouldn't be. There are "wants" and "needs" and I really don't "need" a cell phone right, especially just because it's such a popular nowadays.

Holly said...

Reason #86 why we were possibly separated at birth: cell phones drive me nutso too!!

I think they are nice to have and use when NEEDED, like car trouble or to relay something very important. All the cell phone talky talky, I just don't get it. What on earth do these people have to chat about all the live long day?

We have a gajillion rollover minutes because we aren't phone people. I am so okay with that.

sorichfamily said...

i love kate spade!! a cute friend gave me a copy of "style" for my birthday...defintely worth the read!!

i do try to adhere to all these phone rules, plus i hate listening to other's on the phone, so they wouldn't like to hear my conversations either!! i think answering the phone is a convenience most of the time...not a necessity. i would much rather talk with someone face to face!! but, having said that...we live in the country and i love catching up with friends or family on the long drive home from town (20-30 min.) makes me feel productive and it is a great way for me to return all my phone calls as well!!

sweetfunkyvintage said...

I just got a blackberry, so I use my cellphone alot. But, I feel pretty closely to Kate about its usage.
One of my biggest pet peeves is call waiting. I cannot stand for a friend to click over to see who is on the other line when we are talking (exception is if they are waiting for an important call) - it is like they are saying that whoever might be on the other line is more important!
I think good manners are important and cell phone manners and regular phone manners are important!
I believe that the telephone is for my convenience. I refuse to answer the phone during dinner or to rush to answer it while changing a diaper, or reading to one of the girls, or anything like that. I will just call them back.

Kim Sue said...

amen! I was in a work conference a couple weeks ago and 5 minutes after the start of the session and 3 minutes after the "please turn your cellphones to vibrate", 3 seats down from me, a lady's cell phone not only rang but she answered it "Hello" and talked on it all the way to the door. What is wrong with people?

Laurie said...

I use about 50 minutes a month too, I think. I don't check much b/c it's not enough to even matter/worry about overage.

My biggest question is what is the excitement about texting? I have never done it. Can't imagine spending the time to type in messages that way.

I love cell phones for being able to reach my husband and say, "pick up x and y at the grocery store on your way home" and then to call him again and say, "and z..." while he's at the store.

I also love them for being reachable when I'm not with the kids. It's a huge relief to me for that.

But actually charging it and even knowing where it is - not easy for me! I figure if someone really needs me, they'll catch me at home. It's not attached to my hip, that's for sure.

Lauralee said...

we use a cell phone a lot.. I don't get to "talk" to my husband when he is home, cause he is sleeping.. so we talk while he drives.. I know that is bad.. and dangerous.. but it is my chance..

as far as talking in public.. that is annoying..

I went to a bday party for a friend last week and one of the hosts was chatting on her cell phone the whole time.. seriously.. rude!

kids and phones also drive me crazy.. one of my primary girls blurts out a commment during my lesson 2 weeks ago.. and I said, how do you know that? her reply was "lindsay just text'd me" I was like what? right now in my class? how did I not see that? well she had to put the phone away.. it is definately not neccessary and a distraction from the present for sure!

The monkey bunch said...

We only use cell phones. It seemed a waste to pay for a home phone and cell phones. But as far as manners go with cell phones, I am so there with you. I hate it when people are talking to you and start texting. Do they really think that is OK. It is so obvious that they could care less what you are saying when they are doing that. Very, very annoying!

The 5 Bickies said...

I am with you all the way. I do have a cell phone and use it infrequently to check in with my hubby on a question, change an appt, etc. I can't stand when people have them hanging on their ear all the time. We have a son going to middle school and laugh at the people who tell us we need to get him a phone.

Elisa said...

My two littles and I were so so SO close to being ran over by a huge SUV while crossing and intersection (we were in the cross walk with walk signal on) because the driver was on his cell phone. We are talking death here! The look on the drivers face was priceless, I wonder if he wet his pants.

I am with you cell phones are 10% great and 90% annoying.

Mandi said...

Ok - with regard to cell phones (we call them mobile phones in Australia), we are fairly typical -and based on what I have read typical in Australia is not typical in the US.

I have a cell phone (I got my first 8 years ago when I started in Real Estate)mainly for work. I now dont work in Real Estate but still have my phone (well an upgraded one).

My husband has a cell phone. He uses his minimally.

My 17 year old has one and has had one since she started high school. I got it mainly for security (that was my reasoning) hers was far more social.

My 14 year old got her first cell phone when she started high school too.

Our 11 year doesnt have one yet, but again when she starts high school she will get one.

I really like being able to reach them whenever I need to. As the older ones pick up the younger one twice a week I like to know they are on time to get her.

We have had huge issues with bills, but that has all been sorted. We are all on monthly plans and we can talk to each other for free so the bills have come down quite a bit.

I find the kids text message more than talk. Boy can they text message.

I am very particular about the useage, they are not allowed to interrupt anyone to answer their phones - unless its me calling and then I expect them to excuse themselves from anyone around to take the call.

I text alot too, to keep in touch with friends, just to say hi Im thinking of you.

My current phone has a really good camera - yeah I know I should be able to post SPT considering the camera on my phone, but I havent worked out how to get the photos from my phone to my computer (I should get the kids to do it - it would be done in a flash).

Ok so now you all probably think I am a cell phone nut - but the best thing aout is my two oldest are teenagers and go out with friends to the city on the train, or go to parties etc etc and they have the ability to call me anytime anywhere if they need me or are in trouble and having girls that is a big comfort to me.

Cell phones in Australia are very popular. My bill for our 4 phones runs about $200.00 per month - and before you all gasp!!! Thats good!!! When my 14 year old first got hers the second month her phone bill along was $380 - she was so close to dead when I got that it wasnt funny, they all now know how to manage their "caps" so that they dont go over their monthly limit.

Whew - that was long!!

Tasha said...

Well, I love my cell phone. Love it. I use all my minutes every month, and then some. Dave's whole family is verizon, so we all talk to each other for free, and lots of my long distance friends are too, so that is nice as well. That said. I hate it ( I reserve that word for truely hateful situations) when people drive impaired. That includes, driving drunk, while trying to light a cigarette, or trying to talk or text message. Put down the phone and drive. I also think its strange that since we can take the phone anywher we take our private conversations anywhere. I don't want to hear you talk when you are in a public restroom stall, I don't want to hear you fight with you husband or kid or whoever while you are in the grocery store or Old Navy, don't talk bad about your boss in those places either, because you know what, its a public place, and this is a relatively small town and if I can hear you, how do you know their nex door neighbor isn't right behind you and can't hear you too? Private conversations should still be saved for at home, in my opinion. Also, don't be at the checkout conter, with a line of people behind you and expect the check out girl (and all of us) to wait for YOU to get to a conventient place to tell Deb or Shirl or whomever you are talking to to hold on. Please.

See, you didn't loose any friends...

Anonymous said...

I am with you 100%- I don't have a cell phone and I am mostly okay with that. I don't like being reachable everywhere- when I am out, I want to be out. Maybe 5% of me wants one for the emergency aspect of it, but overall, I am fine with my ancient no cell phone status. Kids and cell phones drive me nuts! I have turned around and said something to a lady talking on her cell phone about something waaay too private for public. I too have had someone stop me mid conversation to answer their phone- but again, I say something, esp when they answer it and tell the person they will call them back. I mean really, they couldn't have just left a message?!?! It doesn't make me think they are all important or make me feel like I am special because they are telling this person that they will call them back. I will end with that rant there!

patsy said...

I too- love my cell phone.

I use it a lot in the car... yep, I really do. Only when I'm alone though. I don't like talking on the phone at home so I get my calls that I need to make done while driving longer distances than just around town.
I love knowing I can track my teenager down anytime, anywhere- the best reason for cell phones in my opinion.
It does REALLY bother me when people use them while talking to other people, especially when they answer while checking out of a store. I NEVER DO THAT. I think anyone who works retail must HATE that- it is very rude in my opinion.
I don't mind my kids calling me while i'm out, they don't abuse it. I just can't imagine living without it now.
I can completely relate to your reasons for disliking it though & I really really appreciate the manners reminders!!!

Shauna said...

Amen, Amen to the manners that everyone seems to throw out the window when it comes to a cell phone. I use my cell phone a lot, but when I am ALONE, out and about, waiting in my car for kids, etc. I try to NEVER talk while I am driving, with my kids, or in a public place.
It helps so I am not on the phone at home when my kids are home and need my full attention.
I feel this way about Call Waiting, also. I was tagged about lising 7 things about me and listing my dislike for Call Waiting was one of them.

suzy said...

My husband owns a cell phone store, so I hope the majority of people keep feeling like they can't live without them!! BUT I get so irritated when people can't use proper cell phone etiquette. I am not joking about this, but when we are in YW presidency meetings, at least twice during our hour long meeting grown women will ANSWER their cell phones!! I don't have a home phone anymore, so I use plenty of minutes on my cell phone, but I never answer my phone if I am talking to someone in person, I never answer if I am bathing my kids or reading to them. And I very seldom answer the other line unless it is my husband calling and he won't stop. But as for kids being so good at texting, I think it seriously hinders their social skills. We are not teaching our children how to properly communicate! My husband is always shocked at how many young young kids are coming in to get cell phones. We are going to have an etiquette activity with our young women and the texting thing was mentioned. I might have to purchase Kate Spades book.

Julia said...

Cell phone talkers can be incredibly rude, and I think it should be illegal to use them while driving everywhere (it is here in New York, and you will get a huge fine if you are caught). There have been studies that have shown that talking on the phone while driving is comparable to being drunk. I believe it.

But I love my phone. We don't have a land-line, and it is my major connection to the outside world. It is also my BlackBerry for work so I use it for email too, and couldn't live without it. It makes me feel safe, and has helped me out of a bad situation. We use 500 minutes a month, but a lot of that is for work. I was over 1,000 when I first moved and needed to talk to friends and family all the time.

Laurie said...

I have to agree with you on this.

I rely on my cell phone, but I cannot have conversations in the company of other people -- even family! Just can't do it.

I have never asked someone to get off a phone or quiet down while talking, but I have be in situations where it would have been appropriate!

Missy :o) said...

I have a cell phone, but really the only one I ever talk to is my husband. He works out of the office almost every day and it's good to keep up with him through the day if necesary. Our stake just had a fireside on the use of cell phones at our schools for texting. wow! Our kids will not be getting a cell phone ~ some bad stuff going on there! I think call waiting is really rude, I'll be talking to a friend and they tell me to hang on for another call, I mean, come on! How rude!! I do not have call waiting on my landline and never will. It just comes with a cell phone, but I don't answer it. Thanks for the post.

Kat said...

I do not own a cellphone. I hate people who drive and talk or worse TEXT and drive. I walk alot and have almost been seriously hit 3 times. Alll three times the driver was on their cellphone and not paying attention to the light. Anytime I am driving in a car and almost hit, the other person was talking on their cellphone.
I refuse to talk to anyone while they are driving on their cell and start all calls with, "Are you driving?". Some friends have taken to lying to me, but I figure it out when they are yelling at people on the road.
I dislike texting and sadly that is the only way some people communicate. I hate when you are out to dinner and people text across the table. Either say it to all of us or wait til later. Or they answer their phone.
I believe people should be in the here and now, not talking on their cellphone. My mil will answer the phone even if I am in mid sentance. I have expressed my dislike and it still continus.
As you can see this is a very big issue with me.
Thanks for the post and for letting me know I am not the only one out there who feels this way!

lisa (lost pezhead) said...

i agree....but like you, i am not a huge cell phone user. we bought a prepaid phone with 200 min in Sept and i'm still using it this May. i have it for quick calls and emergency use. i know what you mean...i have a few people who will totally stop conversation with you and answer their phone and talk for like 15 min while you just awkwardly wait for them to finish!!! AND I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DON'T HAVE A LAND LINE PHONE AND ONLY USE CELL PHONES!!! it's like if i call will they be in the middle of driving or at a meeting?? just get a real phone at your house with an answering don't have to answer every single call you ever get. maybe they are just worried they'll miss out on something if their phone isn't charged and in their pocket at all times??? and who talks that much anyway!

Shelley said...

My biggest pet peeve is when I see a parent walking with their child(ren) and the parent is yapping away on their cell phone while the children are bored as ever. Hang up the stupid phone and give your kids the attention that you are giving the person on the other end.
I have a friend who talks to me while she is shopping. It bothers me when she goes through the check out while talking to me. I want to say something but haven't yet.
And I agree with the kids. I teach middle school and it is AMAZING how many of them have them. And how many think they NEED them. So sad what our world is coming to.
I do have one and I try to be as polite as I can with it. I only have 300 minutes a month and usually get pretty close to it. I live in Virginia and am often stuck in traffic and am guilty of talking while driving. But when you are only going 5 miles an hour on the beltway... :)