My....
is so big!Did you get my riddle?
My B-U-T-T is so big! Today I went to the she-she mall (as I like to call it) to buy a pair of shoes. I went into Nordstrom found my shoes, walked around. Then I went to another shoe store to see if they had them cheaper for the ones I had just ordered and had to have shipped to me. Then I went into this fabulous gift shop looking at all the new Vera Bradley bags. Then I went into JCrew dreaming I could fit in all those clothes. Then I went up the escalator and went into Gymboree and was walking around (so about 1 hour and half has passed since I entered the mall)
A woman walks up to me and says, "you know your skirt is split all the way to the waist band in the back?"
I reach back to my khaki, pencil cotton skirt from the GAP (don't worry GAP I am not slandering you, it is my fault that my bum is so big!) and and feel my glorious white silky underwear. She was right my skirt had split all the way up to the waist band. My big ole behind had been waving to everyone in the mall for the past hour.
I stood there and looked at her and didn't know if I should cry or laugh. I told her that I was sorry she had to see that. I put the cute monkey shirt down that I was going to buy for Sally Jane and walked out the store.
I was lucky I had purchased shoes because my Nordstrom bag was so big it could cover most of my bum flashing.
I was walking out of the mall just laughing in my head and thinking "I need to figure out how to get a smaller bum"
I then decided that I didn't want to think about it much longer because I am headed to the land of mint brownies, milk shakes that hang off the edge and fry sauce. So I will figure out how to remedy this situation next week.
A woman walks up to me and says, "you know your skirt is split all the way to the waist band in the back?"
I reach back to my khaki, pencil cotton skirt from the GAP (don't worry GAP I am not slandering you, it is my fault that my bum is so big!) and and feel my glorious white silky underwear. She was right my skirt had split all the way up to the waist band. My big ole behind had been waving to everyone in the mall for the past hour.
I stood there and looked at her and didn't know if I should cry or laugh. I told her that I was sorry she had to see that. I put the cute monkey shirt down that I was going to buy for Sally Jane and walked out the store.
I was lucky I had purchased shoes because my Nordstrom bag was so big it could cover most of my bum flashing.
I was walking out of the mall just laughing in my head and thinking "I need to figure out how to get a smaller bum"
I then decided that I didn't want to think about it much longer because I am headed to the land of mint brownies, milk shakes that hang off the edge and fry sauce. So I will figure out how to remedy this situation next week.
24 comments:
just be grateful you weren't wearing a g-string! I am so sorry!!!
This is so funny...I am so sorry. I think I would have run out of there. And I like your thinking as far as shrinking- might as well enjoy it for a weekend more and enjoy the food!
I don't think I can effectively type words to convey my sincere thoughts of OH NO!, OH MY GOODNESS NO!! as loudly as I was saying them in my head.
I'm sorry!
Definitely worry about it next week. Enjoy those mint brownies and all your other faves!
I am laughing so hard diet coke just came out of my nose.
Oh ho, this is a great story and Mindy makes a great point. How very, very funny.
Oh Kristi! Im so sorry. One of my biggest regrets, something I KNOW I will have to account for in the next life is that when I was in grad shool, this really annoying girl walked all the way from our building and into the Student Center, with the back of her skirt tucked into her pantyhose. I was so dumbfounded that I didn't tell her and in she walke to the Student Center...Ifeel horrible that I let her keep walking.
I hope you have great tim in UT. How long will be here? Email me and maybe we can hook up.
I am so sorry- that it happened, and that it made me chuckle!
Oh what a story-
Enjoy a mint brownie or two- then worry about it!
oh no..... you poor thing! Worry about it later-- Utah food beckons!
That happened to Spencer last week in his shorts. He didn't care that his whites were hanging out. I was so worried about it but he didn't care. I hate it when things like that happen. It's nice someone finally told you.
That is one of the funniest stories I have heard! Something along those lines happened when I was pregnant and teaching. The students took some pictures of me with their cell phones and it spread like wildfire. At least there is no documented proof of your pencil Gap skirt falling apart!
oh my... that is just funny... something that would totally happen to me... so sorry! I am glad that lady told you!
yah.. think about it next week.. enjoy all the yummy food on your trip!
this happened to me at my husband's Christmas work party!!!!!
My husband said NO one noticed- ya right- I WANTED TO DIE-
I did a post on it too...
from someone whose been there-
I am so sorry-
maybe my big butt will knock you down at Women's conference? Hopefully I will see ya :)
Oh no -- so sorry. Don't even know how to respond to that story. Enjoy the mint brownies and all this weekend!!
Oh man! I know I would have turned red and wanted to die! How awful for you!
I didn't get your riddle though... I was thinking more on the lines of "Bee-uuu-ty". I think I like beauty much better!
Oh Kristi!
I like how she said did you know, like maybe you wanted to be walking around the mall like that.
OH! My gosh. That is so funny -- because it didn't happen to me. I would have been completely mortified. Just know that my butt is about twice as big as yours, so as you're walking around with me you will look like a skinny minnie!
Good idea on waiting a week or so to do anything slimming...
Oh my gosh, I cannot believe this! I would have been mortified. It makes for a great story though.
I am just totally amazed that no one said anything to you beforehand. Perhaps your skirt just ripped while in Gymboree?
Regardless - that is so embarrassing! Loving the white silkies! HA!
Ahhhh! Mint brownies, shakes and fry sauce - heaven!!
Have so much fun together!
I laughed out loud at this one (sorry I don't speak text. I have to spell everything out). Too funny. This happened to me in college but thankfully it was a cold day so I was wearing yellow flannels underneath.
Mint brownies, YUM!
Yesterday my littlest one fell asleep while the others were getting their teeth cleaned and then decided to let his bladder release. He was wearing a sweatsuit where you couldn't tell that he had just peed, but it sure looked like I had peed my pants! I had to have my daughter walk really close behind me and I used the baby and my purse in front. Oh the joys of being a mother! And big bums are definitely a thing to blame on motherhood!
I love that you have the confidence to tell us this story. Oh, how I laughed. I especially love your generosity of spirit - how you apologized to the woman for any discomfort that it may have caused Her!
Oh Kristi, that's just the kind of terrible thing that's hilarious when it happens on tv and totally not funny when it happens to me. Yikes!! Loves!
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