Monday, January 10, 2011

The Case of the Missing Blogger!

Wow just when I was thinking I was going to just forget this whole blogging thing, Jill goes and writes all that stuff about me, I get teary and have a interview with myself and realize that maybe that is what has been missing in my life.

So here is my story.

Once upon a time there was a girl living in Tennessee. She had 3 little kids and a husband who worked two full times jobs (by full time I mean 60 hours a week)
She was probably the most overwhelmed she has ever been in her life. Above is a common position with all three girls sleeping on top of her. Jeff must have come home from work once and found us like this. (you can see Caroline's feet popping out but she is covered by the blankets. How sad that Sally Jane is awake and was probably awake thinking "someone take care of me!"Her days were spent making piles of diapers all day long. She felt very lonely at times, but had an amazing support system of church friends and neighbors. She really missed seeing her husband.

Then one day her friend Jill taught her about blogging. She knew Jill was a great writer so she thought it was for only this with literary skills, but Jill convinced her that it was for everyone.
This was the post that gave her the itch to want to blog herself.which by the way she is a spitting image for the American Girl doll Julie, who represents the 1970's.
And so she began blogging. It was like she lost 10 pounds a day being able to share with anyone who would listen the ideas that would fill up her head day after day.
Personalized Valentine Post

And so this girl fell in love with blogging and would often post two times a day. She said a sad farewell to Tennessee and a big hello to our Nations Capital. All along blogging kept her mind moving and not so lonely. She explored Washington D.C. and the east coast and loved sharing her experiences, again with anyone who would care to read.
blogging was more than blogging for her. It was a listening ear, it was a motivator and gave her a avenue to try to new things.
She started running and running marathons. It was a serious miracle!
She did things she never believed she could do.

And then everything started to change. She and her family had to again say goodbye, to D.C., to free trips to Europe, to her church friends, her dreamy neighborhood, her beautiful Young Women at church, national monuments and friends that were no longer friends, they were now family.

Something started to just shrivel inside her. She slowed down on blogging, she completely stopped running, gained a ton of weight, missed serving in her church and wished she could skip Sunday's and was missing her old self.
She would love to say she moved into the home of her dreams, but even as big as this girl could dream, she had never dreamed that life could be this good or have a home so beautiful!
Every day life was wonderful. The friends gathered around her. The neighbors brought plates of goodies after plates of goodies. All was seriously perfect in so many ways.Kids came from every direction and wanted to swim, play, jump, eat and just flat out love us!

Life seemed perfect, but that blogger girl was the mourning the loss of her old life, old friends and her identity as being the girl who struggled to get by. Now life was smooth and she had no idea what to do with that. She could now shop at Nordstrom but felt much more comfortable at Goodwill.

And so now 6 months later she turns 40 and reads this post below from her friend Jill (the girl on the bike) and has no idea who she is writing about, it is as if it is a stranger. What that is not me?

she had planned her blog post thanking everyone all these years for being so amazing, welcoming and loving but that she would take her blog offline and begin the rest of her life, blog free.
These past few days this blog girl wonders why she ever thought to take what created the "real" her out of her life.
And so here is to the Second Half of my Life!

Taking the time to find the new me
cutting myself some slack
not being surprised when I get a compliment
taking the time to blog
welcome the easy times of life
embrace the tough times
letting others know my feelings still get hurt
taking care of me.

Here is to another 40!!!


Charity said...

So thankful you've decided to stick around! Happy Birthday's to a fabulous 2011...and to great friends like Jill!

stefanie said...

you deserve to live free and easy more than just about anyone i know. you have sacrificed for so many years and now it's all paying off. enjoy it - lord knows i love seeing how great life is for the cutler clan!

tootie said...

I'm so glad you're going to keep blogging! Yours is one of my favorites - you always inspire me!

Happy happy birthday! :)

Quelly said...

Hooray! Hooray! I have missed you!

Jill said...

Hooray, hooray, hooray for a new post!!!!

I totally understand feeling overwhelmed with this HUGE new phase of your life, but I don't understand why eliminating blogging would have anything to do with it. You are still you, you're just you in a new house, in a new state, in a new RS Presidency, in a new phase of life...that seems like a lot of great blog fodder to me! You're still overflowing with great ideas, still finding all sorts of treasures at Goodwill (even if you can afford Nordstroms), and still have so much to inspire and offer to your cyber friends, so why deprive yourself of something that has been such a comfort to you over the years? Plus the family history you have documented all these years on your blog is unbelievable! Just scroll through your archives to be inspired. I got choked up several times while writing your birthday post and kept thinking, "she's going to be sad she stopped blogging when she sees all the things she used to share".

I don't want you to be sad, so whether you decide to blog or not it's up to you, but you are a natural and have so much to offer that it wouldn't surprise me if this is what you've been missing.

I say Bring on the Pink, You're Kristi Freakin Cutler!!

Jill said...

P.S. Whitney has decided she desperately wants that Julie doll, even though she never plays with dolls! She's driving me crazy, especially since we didn't take her request seriously for Christmas. Aargh.

Elizabeth Plock said...

Thank you Kristie for your blog entry today. You dont know me, but I have been following you for a few years, and just know you are touching more lives than you will ever know. Thank you for being so open and honest. Sometimes I feel we are two peas in a pod! Congrats on the second half of your life! It's going to be great!!

michelle said...

Hooray, hooray!! So glad you are back, so glad you decided not to give up, so glad you are still going to share your genius ideas and Goodwill finds and record all the great things your family is doing!

I love you and I love love LOVE your list of what you are going to do and not do. You go, girl!!

Anna said...

I'll look forward to your blog return...even if it is in small doses. Happy 2011.

Lauralee said...

oh you are great Kristi! loved reading this, sure glad you are back!

Ryann said...

I have to agree with Elizabeth on this one. Kristi, you will never know just how many of our lives you have touched, inspired and made better. Mine is just one. I truly hope that you do what is best for you and your family and if that includes blogging, then the rest of us are pretty darn fortunate to have a little Kristi in our life! Love to you:)

kelly said...

cheers to everything you Kristi...turning 40 is changes you! let yourself shine!!

katherine said...

Yay! You're back blogging. Very nice post :)

pam said...

Just last night I was telling a good friend of mine about you. I told her that you are like sunshine and have the ability to pull people toward you. I'm ever thankful that you stopped at my door for a visit while you were in Chi town... You rock!

patsy said...

you always inspire & amaze me!

thanks for sharing your life- you have helped me learn to love myself more than you could every possibly know.

How do you thank a person for that?!


Karen said...

I too have followed your blog since the beginning and have been more inspired by your "keeping it real" than I could ever express. I have also used countless ideas from your blog for holidays, birthdays, school activities, etc. I am so glad you're going to keep so many others I have missed your posts too! Enjoy where life is completely deserve it!

The Trammell's said...

You're awesome Kristi! I've missed reading your posts. Maybe someday I'll update my blog :)

Karen said...

"Life seemed perfect, but that blogger girl was the mourning the loss of her old life, old friends and her identity as being the girl who struggled to get by. Now life was smooth and she had no idea what to do with that."

Wow, isn't it so interesting that what I keep holding out for is just another challenge, just in a different way? You are great at expressing yourself truthfully...

I have so appreciated the words of hope you've given to me since Jeremy started residency. I have thought about what you've said many times, and it's helped me get through the rough days... Heaven knows I am not good at blogging consistently, so I have nothing to say on that, but just know that when you DO blog, it touches people's hearts and you never fully know the good you do, even down the road. Thank you :o) And I hope things continue to look up--we miss you here in DC!

Liz said...

Welcome back to blogging, I hope! I've missed you!

Mrs. Dilday said...

I just want to say i have really missed your posts! I miss you silky adventures, your great funds and just hearing about things in general

Tasha said...

I love you Kristi!

Christine said...

So glad your back!I truly enjoy your blog. Yours was one of the blogs that inspired me to start mine.

I don't have many readers, and even less commentors but I love that I have a photo journal of our family's life through my eyes! I think we'll be grateful we documented it in the future even if it seems tedious at times now!

Wish I lived closer so I could get to know you in person :)

Laura said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. I hope you keep posting!

Nora from Chicago said...

There's a reason that a book has many chapters. Your story is not told, Pink. The plot line in the novel has just taken a new twist and your readers are eager to turn the page and read on. Glad we are able to pick up the book again and get back to reading.

Nora from Chicago said...

You look beautiful in your grey hat and scarf! 40 is agreeing with you.

Price Cream Parlor said...

Glad you are back!!! I hope it is more than less often... Change is hard. I live it daily - even after 10 months. Blogging for me has become my photo documentation of my life (our journal) and a place for me to be creative or vent. I seriously have loved it and been driven crazy by it at the same time.
I have met some WONDERFUL people through blogging too! (helloooo!!!!)

YOU are still YOU! We can miss our 'people' and our way of life and the things that we love. But we have a chance to develop new relationships and traditions and move forward. I don't know about you - but I hope to never move again - so I am anxious to find new fun things to make my own right here, where I am now.

I am sure in time, things won't feel as raw as they still do. I know that you have embraced this new life - which is fantastic! You guys have worked hard to be where you are! Embrace that!
Remember YOU still have much to give, to share and to create!

Mindy said...

love the post kristi. i love you! you impacted my life in new orleans more than you will ever realize. you are amazing. you are hilarious. i love to talk to you. you are beautiful. you are an amazing decorator. you are this generation's martha stewart. you are generous. you are a fun mom. you are a sensitive friend. you are a great story teller. you are a madly in love wife. you are a crier and i love you for that. you are an amazing missionary. you are an incredible speaker. i love you and hope to see you soon!!! welcome back to the blog world. i have missed you.

Amber said...

Oh yeah, stick around! I don't even know how I found you or Jill, but you two are my favs. I get the poor to suddenly having money--it's hard to adjust to either way. One day at a time. I'm glad you wrote that you prefer Goodwill even though you can do Nordstrom-thanks.

Francie said...

I went to Germany after leaving in 1980...28 years later because of your blog. My daughter is living in D.C. and our visits there are based on your wonderful recommendations on your blog. After reading about your great Christmas donation efforts, I was inspired to be more giving. First thing..donation was to Claire.

In regards to life/blog:

"Do the best you can"--Pres.

You, Jill, and Michelle...people love you guys!

Jenni said...

do you mind sharing with us the source of your beautiful winter hat and scarf?? You look gorgeous. Do tell. Happy 40th and keep on doing what makes you happiest and most fulfilled.

Claudissima said...

Happy birthday to you !!!!! Enjoy it! It is definitely a new phase and one you should enjoy tremendously!

sweetfunkyvintage said...

I am so glad that you decided to keep blogging. I have missed you! And you are making me think that maybe I am missing me too, as I have been so busy with focusing on my life and family (which are great) and my business (which is growing), that I haven't taken the time to blog (which I really enjoyed).
So, Happy Birthday, my friend (who I someday hope to meet in person - I still can't believe I chickened out and didn't stop you and say hello when I passed you with your family at the National Zoo!).

Ashley said...

You are the girl who inspired me to start a blog, please don't ever quit! I think it's fine to let it ebb and flow--but I LOVE it when your blog is flowing!

Laura B. said...

I'm glad that you're blogging again. You are so real and inspiring...the perfect combination!

Kim said...

I have been reading off and on since you lived in TN and although I don't know you personally, I have enjoyed being inspired by your creativity. In fact, I still wrap bows around pineapples and give them away as gifts after I read about it right here! Thanks for sharing with the rest of the world! :)

Anjie said...

What a nice post! Happy birthday. Redefining oneself is a privilege of getting older and wiser. We can change, become better and not care of who approves or not. You do have quite a fan club, so you had better not stop... I like to take a peek every now and then and certainly do not want to just be taking in the old over and over. Have fun!

P.S. Time to feel comfortable in Nordstroms as well! They almost always have dresses that cover crazy garments AND they are so helpful AND you deserve it!

Chanel said...

I just checked your blog.... I am so happy!!!! I need you in my life. Since we live 1271.47 miles away from each other and I can't hop in the car for 19 hours to go hang out with you, I need you to blog. What more motivation could you need?

Kristy said...

I love reading your blog! Glad to see you are sticking to it!! :)