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Friday, March 23, 2007

It's official
I am claustrophobic

claustrophobia

noun
a morbid fear of being closed in a confined space


Yep this is me, the claustrophobic.
I have had some tests run recently for some weird symptoms (not really going to go into it, yes I am fine, don't worry) I am have been having for a few months. I have fibromyalgia and have not been feeling so great for the past 3 months. So for everyone that thinks I am crazy and do too much, it is really my way of dealing with not feeling great. I think I can either lay in bed and feel sorry for myself or create something! Little trick about me, when I am creating the most is usually when I am feeling the worst. (ie: I did my wedneday mailing the day of my MRI)

So, I go in on Wednesday to get the MRI. On the sheet you fill out before it asks, "Are you claustrophobic?" I mark no. I think to myself, no one likes to be in small spaces, but I don't like freak out when I am in them. HA!

I have to sit in the waiting room for a few minutes and fortunately I had my ipod. I have kept my feelings about cell phones on the down low because if I got started on cell phone manners I would be blogging all day! But there was just me and another person. Her phone rang and she stayed in the 5x5' small space yapping on the phone. If she would have been sitting next to someone in person she would never have talked that loud. I am not against cell phones, I just have such a problem with any kind of etiquette flying out the window when people use them. OK enough of that. But here are a few sites if you feel you have never considered there to be such a thing on manners and cell phones. here is one. here is another and yet another.

So I go get my hospital smock on, go in the room, find out I will be in the tube for 25 minutes and to put these five cent ear plugs in because it will be really noisy. Still, I was fine. Then I lay back and start to go in the tube and oh my! Good thing I shut my eyes and never opened them. I didn't want to see how close it was to my face. My heart started to race. I started singing out loud,
Whenever I hear the song of a bird, or walk by a blue blue sky, ... my favorite primary song. I didn't realize there was a sound system and he said, "Are you OK in there" of course I say yes when I wanted to scream, Get me out of here!!!! But Jeff has trained me to be much tougher than I am and the art of Get Over It!
So I sang, I am a Child of God, I Believe in Christ, I am trying to be like Jesus, over and over again. I then started counting to 60, thinking there went one minute. I was a wreck.

When he announced it was over and got me out, I started moving my arms like a monkey. I then started to hyperventilate. I told they guy I will never do that again unless I am totally sedated! He said, I thought you were fine in there? Why didn't you tell me?
I guess I really do have issues with asking for help.
Still even writing about it two days later makes my heart pitter patter.


I had to then go get some more blood taken. I loved the little ticket they gave me telling me my waiting time, "0 minutes" The Army is so efficient.

*** of note. I was hesitant of writing this post for two reasons.
  1. I am fine and don't like people to worry about me.
  2. i don't want to freak anyone out if they have to have an MRI, but if you have one think about checking the Claustrophobic box.

16 comments:

Anne said...

Wow, that sounds horrible. I don't consider myself claustrophobic but I think that would definitely freak me out!

Glad you made it out ok!!

Barb said...

I've been fine for my MRI's but I've never had a waiting time of zero minutes. The army is efficient, but I also suspect that socialized Canadian medicine is inefficient.

It seems that many great artists pull their creativity from misery. I'll hope you feel well daily, despite the benefits I reap from your creativity.

Hannah said...

I thought I would be all weird for my MRI but I actually almost fell asleep- mine was 42 minutes. I kept my eyes closed the whole time as well. I am glad you found a way to cope by singing. I love that you keep busy to keep your mind off not feeling well. I am the same way when I can be.

Jill said...

That's so cute that you were singing primary songs to yourself during your MRI. I'm sure those technicians have heard a ton of crazy stuff in there, but that had to be kind of cool for them. I hope I don't ever have to have one of those, it sounds awful. I'm glad you made it through it pretty well, you're tough!

andrea said...

I think I am mildly claustrophobic. I would definitely have to talk/sing my way through an MRI.

Mandy said...

I had an MRI about 6 years ago because I have migraines all of the time and was worried I had a brain tumor. It was such a scary experience for me. I was frustrated because the technicians couldn't be bothered to answer any of my questions or calm my fears. I am also a little claustrophobic and this was not a good thing to have to deal with. I hope everything works out for you. :)

lelly said...

oh, i would definitely check the box!! i consider myself pretty tough, but opening my eyes and seeing the tube right there?!? i was hyperventilating just reading your post!

Liz said...

Oh Kristi! That MRI sounds awful. Ben had one right before we got married, but they sedated him for it. I know I couldn't do it. This reminds me of when you had your gallbladder out and you said that you weren't completely sedated! Girl, you are so brave! I hope you never have to do that again! THe good mail fairies must have known you were in need of a pick me up!!

amy m said...

Every time I see someone in a tv show going in for an MRI I get a little freaked out. I am not claustrophobic, but I think I might be if I had to have one.

I love that you found comfort in singing primary songs. I do that too.

Jenny said...

Oh, Kristi that really is awful. I have never been through one. But I have major issues with space. I easily freak too. Thanks for the warning. Glad it has come and passed. :) Awesome good mail--I love how Chelsea changed all the food for your name. Cute.

michelle said...

So so weird that I had an MRI the same day you did! I wasn't too concerned and didn't check that I was claustrophobic. That was before I got in the machine! Luckily I didn't have to put my head in, it was the only part of me poking out. I think if I had to put my head in, I would seriously have a problem. I could see just how close my face would have been to the top of the machine!! Glad yours is over and at least you know to take a Valium if you ever have to do that again...

michelle said...

p.s. the tech told me I could take a nap if I wanted to. I did want to, but how could anyone sleep through all that racket?! Hannah, how did you do it?

Amanda :-) said...

Is an MRI like a CT scan? I didn't realise they could take that long to do. I've never had one.

My husband's claustrophobic, Kristi. He can't even bear to sit in the back seat of a full car, or a minibus. It's difficult for me to imagine what the fear feels like, but I appreciate that it's a genuine thing. What a way to find out that you're claustro!!

I agree on the phone etiquette. I fell out with my cousin a while ago over this subject. She thought it was acceptable to go out to a restaurant for a pre-wedding family meal and keep her mobile on the tabletop. I said it should be kept off the table and she said, 'I don't care what you think.' Charmant...

Kristy said...

I feel you on this. I didn't think I was claustrophobic until I had an MRI done on my knee. I didn't even have to go all the way in, but just the thought of it once I saw how small the space was kind of freaked me out. I'm glad the Primary songs pulled through for you!!!

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Thanks for the warning! One trip in the tanning bed about caved me. I hope they find what they're looking for, or don't find what they're looking for--whatever the case may be.

And darn. I'm sorry that it is being sick that does so much to promote your creativity . . . but I am grateful for your energy and ideas.

carlo said...

eeek! hope all is ok. it has been nice to get caught up on your blog...